my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
