she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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