me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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