Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
