thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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