I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
