dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
