sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
