Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
