i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
