what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
