You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
