Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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