just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We had to coat check the pizza.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
