I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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