had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
