Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i dont even know how to be here
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
