New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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