the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
