The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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