it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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