I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
