we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
