I cut my penus on the lid.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
