I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
