I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
