Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
