Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I look better un-naked...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
