you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
