I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
