guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just cropdusted the office
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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