The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
