My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
