It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Damn victory sex feels great
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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