everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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