does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
