Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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