Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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