if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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