Having a random hookup so left but love u
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
