Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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