Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
