im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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