i jhust puked up my retainher.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize