Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
