So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
