She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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