you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
