I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
