Well apparently he's into motor boating.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
