I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I believe in your delicious
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
