You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
