i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
