How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize