shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
