The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I deserve this hangover.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
