TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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