Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
