It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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