In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
