would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
