There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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