fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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