All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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